It is a cold morning today.

My parents suffered a car accident yesterday. How it happened, I don’t know.

Couldn’t sleep a wink. Way too many things going through my head.

I mean, this is common. Stay the night awake thinking. At least for me, anyway.

Alas, this night had a very tragic reason to happen.

A drunk driver went through the red sign. The car flipped over.  

They’re both fine.

“Son, stay calm”, Dad said.

“We suffered an accident. Your mother had to be immobilized, but she’ll be fine. The car’s destroyed.”

I couldn’t say anything. I just asked myself:

“Is she really alive?”

I began to think how on the morning of the day before yesterday, my mother and I talked about some things we cherished back in our hometown. We moved away from there years ago, but she still spoke about how she longed to be back home.

“Do you remember that splendid city center, dear? We used to wander all around and shop all kinds of things there! And the food… Ah, how I miss those days!”

I didn’t do anything except smile. She loves to talk. I missed those days as well. At that moment I thought about how I loved to see my mother smile.

But then, I suddenly ask:

“Did she suffer major injuries? A skull fracture? Anything?”

“No, but we suffered injuries nonetheless. We’re gonna stay here for the time being,” Dad said.

I stayed silent once again. I had so many questions, but I simply didn’t know what to say.

“Listen, my phone battery is dying, and the charger was in the car. I’ll see if I can charge my phone and keep you informed.,” Dad said.

“All right, dad. God bless you,” I said.

“God bless you, son.”

The phone hung up. This would be the last time he contacted me. That was past 9 PM, I believe.

In the meantime, I decided to pray to the Lord to have mercy on them, and to bring them home.

Alas, after finished praying, my thoughts came rushing through my head.

“What if she dies there? What are you gonna do? What if she gets debilitated? If she dies, what are you gonna say to our family back home? Did you really mean your prayer? This must be God punishing you for your sins! Or even her sins! You should have been more rigorous with yourself! Now you’re gonna be alone! Next time Father calls you, he’s gonna said that she died! You shouldn’t have let them go out today! You could have insisted! SHE WOULD HAVE LISTENED!”

Demons. Demons. Curse them all.

With that, I got a migraine. I still have it as I write this since there are no painkillers. She took them with her.

I decided to play some Metro Exodus to take my mind away from that. I wasn’t able to sleep after all.

Took some screenies from the game as I played. Always loved to do that.

I stopped playing when I saw the sunrise from my window. My mind still reminisces the fact that my parents are in a hospital right now, and I don’t know how they are.

When I look at the sunrise, I remembered something a saint said:

“It is all in the hands of the Lord.”

And that quieted my soul, in a way. Because at the end of the day, it really is. If it’s God’s will that they return fine, they undoubtedly will, so I must put it all in His hands.

Then, my mind went back to that breakfast once again.

“Say, dear, wouldn’t it be amazing if we went back to our hometown just for a visit? It would be great to see our family again, wouldn’t it? See your cousins running all over the place, your uncles trying to stop them, the chatter of a small town. Also, to go to the city center again to do all those things we used to do! Just for a week. What do you think?”, Mom said.

“It would be brilliant, mom. I can’t wait.”

I have been… really tired lately.
More than usual, at least. It never goes away, no matter how much I rest.
And in times like these, I like to imagine myself fishing.
I’ll be honest with you, I have never gone fishing in my life. Not properly, at least.

I don’t really know why this happens. There are times when I’m in the middle of writing a scene or talking with some people and my mind just flows away from my body. Suddenly, I see myself in a boat, fishing in peace. When I’m tired, this kind of event occurs way more often.

I remember when I was a kid I would visit my grandparents and they lived in a house next to a big river. My cousins and I would go there to throw some fishnets and nylon lines with chunks of meat stuck to them so we could catch some fish. We would eventually get some after a few hours.
But I’ve never properly gone fishing, you know. With a fishing rod, a bucket of bait, a dock to sit down to, and some peace.

And… I’ve been wondering why this is the case. I mean, like I said, I’ve never gone fishing in my life and my last “fishing” experience was way back then. For some reason, I’ve some kind of connection with this activity I’ve never properly practiced.

For example, I love fishing games and minigames, and I tend to spend lots of time in them rather than focusing on the main “attraction”, so to say. I played a game called A Short Hike recently (a great indie game, by the way, go play it) and it has a cute fishing minigame in it. Its main character, Chloe, says she’s not a very patient person for this, but I am, and I spent a good few hours on it.

I have tons of patience, so I guess I’m made for fishing.

Another thing that I find attractive in fishing is the fact that you can take it easy and if you have a partner, you can chat with them for hours. I mean, it seems like a great activity for friends or even groups of people to socialize. Something that I don’t really have an opportunity to take part in most of the time.

Or at all.

Anyway, I don’t really have any point to make with this. I just really like fishing, even though I’ve never done it before, and I thought it would be interesting to share a piece of my mind with you guys.

Before it goes out fishing, that is.

Today I’ve had one of the most beautiful dreams of my life. I don’t know if this was the fruit of the medicine I took before going to sleep (got covid recently and I haven’t slept very well this week. Not that I actually get good nights of sleep at all, but, you know, it got way worse) or for other reasons. All I know is it was great.

The dream began on a train, and I was together with some of the elements of my past. The train had a surreal touch since it was the biggest and largest train I’ve ever seen, with lots of rooms, greek columns, aquariums, and statues.

I got to walk around in this train, and while I was strolling around, I got to see various people I knew during my life:

People that I knew once.
People that I had lots in common with.
People that I used to talk in a daily basis.
People that I hate or used to.
Some that are not even alive today.

They were all there. All dancing to songs from the 30s, having good laughs, dining together. They were having the best time of their lives, apparently.

For some reason, this didn’t bother me at all (though I didn’t know I was dreaming).

Then, I got stopped by a classmate from my middle school days. This classmate used to hate my guts back in the day.
The thing is, she was smiling at me. And it wasn’t a social smile either, she was genuinely happy to see me.
She started talking about things that happened in school and how these days were really fun. I didn’t actually enjoy my time in middle school, but I was content in hearing her talking about those things, maybe because I was kinda happy in talking with her after this many years.

After that, we had another classmate of mine join the conversation. We started to talk about our times in school and how it affected us.

They haven’t aged a single day and were still using their school uniforms, even though they were talking about things that happened long ago. I was the only one that looked older.

Then suddenly, I looked out of the window and noticed that the train was heading towards a cliff, and it wasn’t slowing down.

I felt desperate, so I jumped from the window right before the whole train fell into the cliff.
I was just witnessing hundreds of cabins with thousands of people disappearing right before my eyes, and couldn’t do anything about it.

The train was completely inside this massive black hole now, and I looked down the great abyss but couldn’t see nor hear anything. No screams, no machinery, nothing. As if the train never existed at all.

Then, I turned back. I wasn’t on the cliffside anymore.
I was inside what appeared to be a shopping mall.
There weren’t many people inside it, apparently. Christmas music was playing in the speakers, and all the stores were being decorated for the holidays. It was a great and warming sight.

Just so you know, I haven’t left the house in so long, I don’t even remember what is like inside a shopping mall during the holidays. It was a sight I haven’t got in a long time.

One of the stores even had those fake snow machines. I love that kind of stuff since it doesn’t snow where I live.

In front of a store, I could see my parents. They were waiting for me.

“About time you showed up. Where have you been?”, said my mother.

“Oh, I don’t know.”, I said.

They were radiating. Absolutely happy to see me.
And I was happy as well. I even smiled.
We hug each other. All is well.

I woke up.

At first, I was confused, but then, I began to feel extremely comfortable with myself. I haven’t felt this way in years.
I was, dare I say, happy.

Ah, god damn it, soon enough I’ll not even remember I had this dream.
I’ll even wonder if it ever happened at all.
It’s fine. It was wonderful. A good change for a person who usually only has running thoughts and wretched tv static for dreams.

The thing is, I never felt so happy in years. I was in a stage of pure bliss for a couple of minutes.



Now, it’s back to reality.

God, this again.

Hello there, and welcome to my new-new-new website. That’s the third time I’m making one of these, since the other two have gone wrong in different ways that don’t really matter right now.

But hey, not all’s that bad, I guess. I mean, this new website has a nice custom domain, and this time, I can post as many pages and posts as necessary, plus, I can keep you guys informed about the games and writings I make. Hooray.

And yes, we’re under construction once again. It won’t take long for things to be ready, though (I hope, at least).

I hope you like the new place. Enjoy your stay.

I’ll be seeing you.

Carlos